Crypto Absurd Weekly: The Week That Made Vitalik Cry (Probably)

By someone who’s seen too much and still believes in memes.

Man, this week was pure chaos and I’m here for it. First, we got hit with the $BUTT rug — still can’t believe people aped into that name. Then LayerZero tried to pull some shady moves, and somewhere out there, someone decided fart NFTs were still a thing. If you managed to avoid all that… respect. Your brain cells are still alive. Probably.

Next week’s lineup is looking just as unhinged: a DAO trying to tokenize dreams (I swear I’m not making this up), some dude staking his actual soul, and the arrival of AI-generated rugpull poetry. This space never sleeps, and it definitely never gets boring.

Crypto rule #1: expect the unexpected. Rule #2: screenshot everything, because in a year, this madness will be worth a whole new meme collection.

Meme Coin of the Week: $BUTT

Yes, you read that right. $BUTT launched on Solana and hit a $12M market cap in 48 hours. Why? Because someone tweeted “I like big BUTTs and I cannot lie” with a link to the token. That’s it. No utility, no roadmap, no whitepaper. Just cheeks.

Within 72 hours, the dev rage-quit on X, posted a selfie crying in a Lambo, and rugged the liquidity. Classic. Investors are now forming a DAO to “reclaim the cheeks.” We’ll keep you posted.

NFT of the Week: “Fart in the Metaverse”

This one’s… special. An artist named @MetaFlatulence dropped a 1/1 NFT titled “Fart in the Metaverse” — a pixelated cloud with ambient sound. It sold for 3.2 ETH. The buyer claimed it “captures the essence of Web3 impermanence.”

We asked ChatGPT to describe it. It said: “A gaseous representation of existential decay.” Honestly, same.

️‍♂️ Scam of the Week: LayerZeroButNotReally

A Telegram group with 18K members promoted a “LayerZero airdrop” that turned out to be a phishing site. The domain was layerzerodrop.io — subtle, right? Victims reported losing over $400K in total.

What’s wild is that the site had a fake MetaMask integration that looked legit. Even seasoned degens got caught. Reminder: if it looks too clean, it’s probably dirty.

Chart of the Week: Bitcoin vs. Banana Futures

Someone on TradingView made a chart comparing BTC price action to banana futures. And… it kinda matched. For 3 days straight. The caption read: “Banana is the new alpha.”

We’re not saying bananas are the future of finance. But we’re not not saying it either.

Meme of the Week: “Vitalik in 2077”

Image: Vitalik Buterin photoshopped into Cyberpunk 2077, holding a USB stick labeled “ETH 3.0.” Caption: “Still waiting for sharding.”

It went viral on X, got reposted by CZ (who added “same”), and now lives forever in the blockchain of our hearts.

Airdrop Madness: The “AirDropDrop”

Recently, the crypto world got caught up in the buzz around a project called AirDropDrop. The premise was simple: they promised an airdrop to anyone who tweeted the phrase “I love free money.” No complicated tasks, no wallet connections — just a single tweet. And, of course, the internet delivered. In no time, more than 40,000 people publicly declared their undying love for free cash.

Then came the twist: the team revealed it was nothing more than a social experiment. No token. No drop. Just vibes… and a whole lot of secondhand embarrassment.

Instead of sulking, some Web3 degenerates decided to turn the joke on its head. They started minting their own tweets as NFTs — literally immortalizing the moment they fell for the bait. It’s self-deprecating humor at its finest and a reminder that in Web3, nothing is ever truly wasted. Whether it’s a rug pull, a meme, or a “fake drop,” someone will find a way to make it collectible. Web3 stays undefeated.

Thought of the Week: Is Crypto Just Performance Art?

After watching this week unfold, one has to ask: is crypto still about decentralization, or is it just a giant improv show with money? Between fart NFTs, banana charts, and fake LayerZero drops, it’s hard to tell.

But maybe that’s the beauty of it. Crypto is chaos. And chaos is honest.

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Final Thoughts

This past week in crypto felt like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded — ridiculous, chaotic, and absolutely hilarious. We had the infamous $BUTT rug pull (yes, that was actually the ticker), the shady LayerZero “totally-not-a-scam” drama, and the bizarre moment when someone tried to sell a fart as an NFT… again. If you managed to dodge all three, congratulations — your sanity is still intact. Probably.

But you know how this space works — there’s always more madness waiting just around the corner. Next week, we’re diving into a DAO that’s dead serious about tokenizing dreams (because why not), a guy who attempted to stake his soul on-chain, and the unexpected rise of AI-generated rugpull poetry.

In crypto, the line between innovation and insanity is paper-thin. So stay tuned, stay skeptical, and remember — the weird isn’t ending, it’s only getting started. This rabbit hole goes way deeper than you think.

Got Absurd News?

DM us on X @CryptoAbsurd or drop a message in our Telegram. If it’s weird, wild, or just plain stupid — we want it.

Until next time, stay absurd.

Just Some Thoughts From a Guy Who’s Seen Too Much Crypto

So I been sittin’ here thinkin’ — like, real thinkin’, not that scroll-through-X-and-call-it-research kinda stuff. Just me, my porch, a lukewarm Dr Pepper, and the sound of cicadas buzzin’ like they know somethin’ we don’t. And I keep askin’ myself: what the hell happened to crypto? Used to be about changin’ the world, decentralizin’ power, takin’ back control from the suits. Now it’s fart NFTs and coins named after body parts. I mean, I ain’t mad — I bought $BUTT too, don’t judge — but dang, man. Somewhere along the way, we traded vision for vibes, and vibes for viral. And maybe that’s just how it goes. Maybe crypto’s like barbecue — everyone’s got their own sauce, and half of it’s sugar anyway. But I still believe there’s somethin’ real under all the noise. Some spark. Some truth. Even if it’s buried under a pile of memes and rugpulls. So yeah, I’ll keep watchin’, keep writin’, keep laughin’. ‘Cause if you can’t laugh at a fart NFT sellin’ for 3 ETH, then what’s the point of bein’ here? Anyway, that’s all I got for now. Gonna go feed the chickens and check if my wallet’s still empty. Spoiler: it is.

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